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In 1976 no one seemed to question any of this. No one seemed to care that my school records displayed a different name or that Gary was not my legal guardian. But social norms dictate that we do not insert ourselves into other people's personal lives. Being polite means keeping one's mouth shut.Īnd so I, the newly minted Mooch Lundquist, became a third grader at Delaware Township School. My classroom was on the first floor of the elementary building - just a staircase away from Gary. Every day at 3 p.m., as soon as the bell rang, I was expected to climb those stairs and report to Gary's desk. Inevitably, a few of his favored 10-year-old students would still be hanging around - joking with him or sitting on his lap. Some days Gary would oversee an after-school activity. The gifted and talented club was invitation only - Gary's invitation, that is. Trouble was: Gary had no real training or authority to be administering IQ tests. Then, based on his findings, he labeled certain kids - the kids he liked and wanted to spend more time with - as "gifted." Instead, he gave kids a short multiple-choice test, the Mickey Mouse kind sold in bookstores.
This was a real convenience, as he demanded I join his, and only his, after-school clubs. He signed me up for his drama club too and encouraged me to sing in the school talent contest. On the night of the show, various kids performed their acts, and the winner was chosen based on audience response. Gary was among the judges who awarded me first prize. After that, I was given the lead in all the school plays that he directed.
To the other parents, I suppose it seemed that Gary was harmlessly lauding his new daughter. Not because he actually thought I was gifted or talented. Gary was a narcissist, and narcissists view their families as extensions of themselves, as trophies. Gary believed he was superior, so it was imperative that the world see his daughter as superior too.īehind closed doors it was a different story.
Gary treated me with a dizzying blend of over-involvement, neglect, overindulgence and cruelty. With Svengali-like skill, he quickly took over every aspect of my life, dictating what I wore, to whom I talked, even what toys I used.